When you have more than one character in a scene, write from your main character’s point of view. What does your main character see, hear, or think?
Here are some examples from “Music Camp Mystery.” Robin Hill is the main character.
1. “They ran from the cool cave to the warm sandy beach and quickly dressed. They were pulling on their tennis shoes when a bottle whizzed over their heads and splashed in the pool. It bobbed to the surface and floated about ten feet from shore … Robin quickly looked around to see if she could see who threw it. She saw no one.”
Who looked around? Robin–it’s from her point of view.
2. “Everyone at their table was in on the mystery but Julie.
Should we tell Julie, Robin wondered.”
Who wondered?–Robin–it’s from her point of view.
3. “It was lunchtime … Rosalyn, Richard, and Buddy sat at a table by the windows and talked excitedly about something. Robin wished she could hear what they said. Twice the older students looked over at Robin and her friends and laughed.
“What are they laughing at?” she wondered out loud.”
Who wished she could hear what they said? Robin–it’s from her point of view.
4. “This chamber was discovered in 1923, and that’s when Rainbow Cave got its name”,[said the guide.]
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” said Robin. She wondered if her friends were thinking about the clue and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, like she was.”
Who thought the cave was beautiful, and who wondered if her friends were thinking about the clue?–Robin, it’s from her point of view.
5. “The children were so busy making plans for the following day that only Robin heard a twig snap in the bushes, just twenty feet away. Suddenly, she shivered and an eerie frightening feeling came over her. It felt like someone out in the black night was watching them.”
Who heard a twig snap and had a feeling that someone was watching them?–Robin, it’s from her point of view.